So I saw her walk
white hot eyes
staring ahead
lost finally
after all those roads
lost within her own mind
scrambling frantically
for reason
the picture without color
the vision smeared
the tragedy of a
soul
unconnected
-------------------------------------------
the dreams ended
as all dreams must
but the memory
of you my
love
who crushed
and devoured me
and turned my instinct
for survival into
cast iron
you bring me back
after every
violation
to life
life
life
yet again
-------------------------------------------------
it stretches far
far beyond
what I ever conceived
the soul
pushes out against
limitless boundaries
(who would have thought it?)
beyond that
infinite capacity
for pain
guilt
love
until the soul
sees light
through its strings
threadbare, breaking
-------------------------------
stayed away so long
entire stages passed
even my lifetime
and songs gone
new ones created
(unexpected)
feeling as though
my soul
was rushing to catch up
to a race long ago begun
panting
lungs burning
there I glimpsed
a single worn
half-buried in dust
signpost
I kept going
------------------------------------
my soul was unplanned
and unrepentant
at the questions that
caused my eyes to
stare
and my energy to
pound at walls
(I didn't know who built them)
I turned from my punching bag
the girl next to me said,
"Look,
her knuckles are
bleeding."
-------------------------------------------
the soul search becomes
extreme
surely I already know the value
of the single seconds
I do not need the
constantly
shifting
existential moments
like the boulder
under which
I now whisper:
"The darkness stretches out hands
I did not request"
----------------------------------------------
I hear the summer return
in the late night barking of the dog
as someone walks by
who did not come before
whose voice or face I do not
know
the scattering of leaves
before the rain
leaves my heart
in discontent
when the morning comes
and eyes close at the sun
I dream
of wandering
------------------------------------------
it comes to the edge
again and again
pushing up from
deep under
looking up
eyes blinded
looking up
and the ground
falls
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